Domestic violence comes in many forms Published Oct. 7, 2010 By By Staff Sgt. Robert Barnett 59th Medical Wing Public Affairs LACKLAND AIR FORCE BASE, Texas -- October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and the 59th Mental Health Squadron's Family Advocacy office wants to remind everyone that there is help available. "Domestic violence can be verbal, emotional, psychological, physical or sexual," said Lois Van Slyke, 59th Medical Wing Family Advocacy Outreach manager. "It could be neglect, like overlooking or ignoring medical or dental needs, or leaving children inadequately supervised. On base, even a 10-year-old can only be left unsupervised for two hours." Ms. Van Slyke has worked at Wilford Hall Medical Center for ten years and during this time she has seen a rise in domestic violence cases across the Air Force. "The increased deployments have taken a toll on our families," she commented. Certain behaviors or signs can be symptoms of domestic violence. The signs include isolation, acting secretive, a chaotic environment, tension-filled surroundings, and when a situation feels confusing or dangerous. "The abuser normally wants the victim to feel that it's their fault, but they are never to blame," said Ms. Van Slyke. "It's the abuser's choice to be abusive. They are motivated by the need for power and control." Signs of domestic violence can also include financial control, said William Cannon, who is a military victim's advocate for the Bexar County Family Justice Center, or BCFJC. "A lot of military members don't let their spouses have a bank account or credit card. The spouses may not know who the member's commander is, or could be worried that by reporting their sponsor, they will lose their military benefits," he said. "Don't be afraid to ask for help." The BCFJC has a partnership program with family advocacy offices at Lackland and Randolph AFB, and Fort Sam Houston, provide military advocates to assist with domestic cases within the military family. Mr. Cannon says the partnership program with the military Family Advocacy Offices has been very successful. "Lackland (AFB) has one of the best family advocacy programs I've ever worked with," he said. Additionally, the BCFJC offers free child care, two pediatric therapists, and a dream center, which is designed to help rebuild a person's life -- everything from getting an education to getting a job. Crisis response teams are also available to visit homes and work with the victims. The BCFJC also helps people living with repercussions from the past. "We try to put the client in the driver's seat. We provide support for good decisions, but it's still their decisions," said Meera Ballal, executive director at the BCFJC. There are plenty of places to seek help. "If help is needed, family members can contact a family advocacy office, the Bexar County Justice Center or family violence prevention services," said Ms. Van Slyke. "There's also a women's shelter and national hotlines for child abuse, battered women and battered men." Wilford Hall Medical Center's Family Advocacy Office offers several groups and classes to help prevent domestic violence. "We've helped a number of people through weekly parenting classes," Ms. Van Slyke said. "There are also weekly couple's conflict resolution groups to enhance happier relationships." Other classes include anger management, and a class for singles called "How to Avoid Falling for a Jerk or Jerkette," which is a fun, interactive class for groups or wings. The feedback for the classes has been positive. "People need to seek prevention services before something happens," Ms. Van Slyke warned. "Please get help before something happens." She suggested that if the member feels uncomfortable calling Family Advocacy and nothing has happened, go to Military One Source at http://www.militaryonesource.com "They can go there and it won't get reported because nothing has happened yet," she explained. The national hotline for child abuse is 800-252-5400. The hotline for domestic violence against men is 888-743-5754. For more information, contact your base family advocacy office.